After my first year at neXpertos, and with International Women’s Day approaching, I find myself reflecting on a question that emerged during one of my first workshops: are there differences in the negotiation style of men and women?
I have just completed my first year at neXpertos, the negotiation consultancy founded by An Moisson — a former P&G colleague, a close friend, and now a partner — which I joined convinced that negotiating better can shape professional trajectories. That was, and still is, our mission: to help individuals and teams move forward with strategic clarity and a strong focus on results.
Only a few weeks after joining, I was asked to deliver a workshop on how men and women negotiate. Now that International Women’s Day is approaching once again, that workshop has come back to my mind.
Are There Differences in the Way We Negotiate?
Are there really differences in how men and women negotiate?
In many contexts, men are often associated with a tougher, more competitive style: more direct, more focused on winning, with attention placed on tangible elements — price, deadlines, and conditions — and a stronger tendency toward speed and assertiveness.
Women, on the other hand, are often linked to a more collaborative approach: more relationship-oriented, with stronger listening skills, empathy, flexibility, and a longer-term perspective.
However, it is important to clarify something: not all men negotiate the same way, and not all women negotiate the same way. Negotiation style is not determined solely by gender. It also depends on personal preference, context, circumstances, and the balance of power in each situation.
The key point is not to decide which style is better, because neither is inherently superior. What truly matters is the ability to use the most appropriate approach at any given moment to achieve the best possible outcome. Sometimes firmness and competitive positioning are necessary; at other times, integrating interests and building long-term value becomes the most effective path. Excellence in negotiation lies in expanding one’s range and choosing deliberately.
Self-Perception and Confidence in Negotiation
One aspect that I find particularly relevant is the lower self-perception many women have regarding their negotiation abilities. Several studies in Spain reflect this perception, even though in practice women can be just as effective — especially in collaborative and long-term negotiations.
We are therefore not facing a capability issue.
We are facing a perception issue, one that reduces confidence and inevitably impacts results.
When the perception of power is lower, people tend to ask for less.
As a result, negotiations often become more cautious than necessary.
In many cases, concessions are made before alternatives are fully explored.
And more time is spent doubting one’s position.
And in negotiation, prolonged hesitation rarely improves outcomes.
The good news is that this gap is not structural. It can be trained.
When preparation is solid, when alternatives are clear, when objectives are well defined and supported by data, the conversation changes. The posture changes. The energy changes.
Ultimately, power no longer depends on tone or external pressure. It rests on structure.
Three Keys to Negotiating with Confidence and Results
Preparation
Preparation represents about 80% of any negotiation. It means anticipating scenarios, defining alternatives, and clarifying both minimum and optimal objectives. When the analysis is rigorous, confidence becomes far more resilient.
Objectivity
Moving away from emotional reactions and focusing on data. Separating the person from the problem. Responding to substance rather than tone. Objectivity protects clarity.
Focus
Remaining in control throughout the process. Avoiding unnecessary distractions. Not getting drawn into dynamics that do not contribute to the objective. Every detail matters when the stakes are meaningful.
Beyond March 8
March 8 is an important date.
But real progress does not happen in speeches. It happens in real negotiations.
In the meeting where you decide to ask for what truly corresponds.
In the conversation where you hold your position without raising your voice.
In the moment when you choose clarity instead of negotiating from doubt.
Real empowerment does not mean adopting a tougher style or abandoning your own. It means integrating method, confidence, and a clear focus on results.
After this first year supporting teams and executives, one idea has become clearer than ever: when a woman negotiates with preparation, objectivity, and focus, results stop being an aspiration and become a consequence.
And when that happens, the impact is quiet — but profound.
Because negotiation does not understand gender. It understands strategy.
Monica Bustamante
Partner at neXpertos
At neXpertos, we support you on the path toward mastering negotiation, whatever your style. Share your situation with us here — we will certainly find a solution that fit.
